A Sinister Reality

Trifecta's weekly prompt this week is to do 33-333 words using the third definition of "Sinister," which is given as:

"3: singularly evil or productive of evil"

And... we're off:

“Hello!  I’m Wink Barkercrest,  welcoming you back to ‘America’s Next Top Serial Killer.’ Recapping last week, we saw two contestants go down, as they just didn’t meet your high standards of macabre mayhem.  So, we said goodbye to ‘Hacksaw’ Hank Hannigan and Marie Guadolo, AKA ‘The Angel of Death.’” 

“That leaves us with three finalists for the interview round.  Please give a warm welcome to ‘The Sheboygan Slasher,’ Sergei ‘Bullseye’  Wackoffski , and… Eugene.”

“OK, first up, ‘The Sheboygan Slasher.’  Sir, can I call you ‘slash?’  

“No.”

“All right… can you tell me your real name?”

“No.”

“Mr. Slasher  it is, then.  Tell America: what compels you to kill?”

“My goldfish, Aristotle.  He tells me who he wants for dinner, then I capture and filet that person.”

“Wow, sounds grisly!  Any idea who might be next?”

“Well, Aristotle’s been on a T.V. Personality kick recently…”

“O.K!  We’ll move on to contestant number two.  Mr. Wackoffski…”

“Please, call me Sergei, my last name does not translate well from Cyrillic.”

“I’ll say.  Now, Sergei, how do you keep track of how many people you have ‘offed?’”

“Say hello to my little friend… In this digital tablet, I have stored the particulars of all my contracts.”

“Hmmmm.  Bet Interpol would love to get their hands on that!”

“Absolutely.  That is why I would blow up this building rather than be taken alive.”

“Right!  Now, on to contestant three. It says here you go by “Eugene.”  Is that it?"

“That’s right; just Eugene.  I think it sounds more sinister that way, don’t you?” 

“Uh-huh.  So, Eugene, what do you do for a living?” 

“I’m a political consultant.  I recruit people for focus groups, lock them in a room and show them many political campaign commercials to gauge their reactions.”

“It’s a good thing we’re out of time, because I think I’m going to be sick. We’ll see you next time, and…Sergei, where are you going?”

“I am not sitting next to him.  He makes me feel dirty…”