Dear Liberal Media,
Hi, how's it going? I know you guys have been busy lately, what with undermining traditional American values, continuing your attempts to destroy marriage, the war on CHRISTmas, and all those meetings with the Illuminati elites to usher in The New World Order. If you could land the black helicopters for just a minute, or at least set them to "hover" for a moment, I have a bone to pick with you.
See, it seems there was a U.S. Presidential debate on Wednesday evening, and I've been reading and listening all about it the past few days, and apparently, this guy Mitt Romney is pretty damn good. It appears that he's like the best parts of JFK, Winston Churchill, Gandhi, and Jesus Christ all rolled into one adorable, well-coiffed package. I mean, I'm thinking of voting for him, and I once voted for Ralph Nader. (Don't ask, it's a long story.)
I understand why the "Fair and Balanced" news outlets are talking him up; after all, he wants to make sure they can continue to make obscene amounts of money and listen in on everybody's conversations. But I didn't realize you guys loved him too. See, I watched the debate, (on tape delay, I admit,) and I'm a little confused. I know Romney was all "mavericky" and had lots of cool quotes and anecdotes and everything, and good for him, because he seems like a nice enough guy, for a Mormon. But it seems a little strange to me that all I've heard from you liberal media types for four days is how good he was and how bad the President was.
What I saw was one candidate who discussed issues and policies and made statements that included realistic assessments of the problems we face as a nation, and another who kept saying "taxes bad!" I'll let you guess who was whom. It seems to me I've heard you guys complaining about style over substance before, and this might have been a good time to show that you care. But when you keep repeating that the President was "distracted," and "uninspired," and "pedantic," it seems like you were only concerned with how the debate was presented, rather than what it was about.
Maybe you figure it doesn't matter. Maybe you're right. But I saw something to the effect that polls taken immediately after the debate showed about the same numbers as those taken before the debate; however, by Friday, after two days of endless hammering on by every news organization in the world about how badly the President "performed," they had swung toward Mr. Romney. Let's face it, we Americans aren't the most politically sophisticated bunch around. Many of us are more interested in who wins "Survivor" than a silly debate. So we count on you to let us know who we should like. Besides, 47% of us had to get up early to get in line for our welfare checks, so we couldn't watch it ourselves.
So my question is, as one Liberal to a Liberal Institution: "Why?" Why would you talk endlessly about how much Mr. Romney won the debate by? You know he's the anti-liberal here, right? He wants to make the rich richer, and screw everybody else. Are you scared that Bill O'Reilly might call you names? That Rush Limbaugh might say you are biased? (Hint: they are going to do that anyway.) Is it because you are all owned by big corporations that stand to gain from Romney's pledge to lower the corporate tax rate?
Don't worry, Liberal Media; I still love you. As long as you keep me updated on the latest dance craze from Korea, I'll be happy. But you messed this one up. Instead of commenting that perhaps we should look for a leader who sees that the country has problems, and that many of them are created by a terrible disparity in the distribution of wealth in our system, you focused on who seemed more "energetic." Instead of pointing out that the most powerful country in the world might want a President who thinks a little, who has more knowledge about the world than the average person, you said that Obama "talked over people's heads." Maybe what you fail to understand is that no matter what else happens, what you say tends to become the reality in people's minds.
Next time, maybe you should challenge the narrow, conservative view of politics and economics.
Unless, of course, you really aren't Liberal after all.
Carry on,
Eric Misener (President of the Kucinich 2016 fan club.)
P.S. Could you guys be sure to get Todd Akin more coverage? He's about the best advertisement we Liberals have...
well said
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