Apocalypse Now?

Well, back with a response to a Trifecta challenge.  This week it is 33-333 words using the 3rd definition of "Death," given as:

"The destroyer of life, usually pictured as a skeleton with a scythe."  Without further ado:

RRRrrrriiiiiiiiinnnngggg.

“Good afternoon, Four Horsemen P.A., this is Luci speaking, how may I help you?

Oh, hello sir. I’m fine; thank you for asking.  How are you? 

I’m sorry to hear that sir. War usually handles your account, doesn’t he?

No, I’m sorry, sir, he’s in meetings all day.  He really is swamped at the moment, what with the ‘War on Drugs,’ the ‘War on Poverty,’ the ‘War on Terror,’ the ‘War on Women …’ Not to mention all the real wars going on.  Could someone else help you?

No, unfortunately, Famine is out to lunch right now.

Let me check for you, sir…   Oh, that’s right, Pestilence called in sick; I’d forgotten.

 I’m afraid not sir. 

Yes, you see, Death has taken a holiday.  That does remind me though, I have to pick up his cloak from dry cleaning and get that scythe sharpened before he returns…

Well, sir, you could call our consultants, Cheney and Associates. 

No, I was not aware he was on a hunting trip.

I will most certainly pass on the message sir, and I’m sure someone will get back to you as soon as possible; after all, you are one of our best clients.

Thank you, you have a nice afternoon too, Mr. Rove."

Click.